Emotional Regulation
Emotional Regulation

Lesson 4: Choosing Your Response

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Big Idea

👉 You can choose how you respond, even when you can’t control what you feel.

Section 1

YOUR RESPONSE IS A CHOISE, NOT A REFLEX

After you pause, you get to choose.

Feelings may show up without permission —but responses are choices.

Choosing your response is how you protect:

  • Your peace

  • Your dignity

  • Your relationships

  • Your future self

This is where wisdom lives.

Section 2

REACTION VS. RESPONSE

A reaction happens fast and automatically.
A response happens with intention.

Reactions often sound like:

  • “I didn’t mean to say that.”

  • “It just came out.”

  • “I wasn’t thinking.”

Responses sound like:

  • “I took a moment.”

  • “I chose my words.”

  • “I thought about what mattered.”

Pausing gives you the space to respond instead of react.

Section 3

WHAT MAKES A RESPONSE WISE?

A wise response usually:

  • Keeps you and others safe

  • Respects your dignity

  • Avoids unnecessary harm

  • Matches the situation

  • Aligns with your values

Wisdom is not about being perfect —it’s about being intentional.

Section 4

After you pause, ask yourself:

“What am I feeling right now?”

  • “What response protects my peace?”

  • “What choice will I feel okay about later?”

  • “What helps instead of hurts?”

Sometimes wisdom sounds like:

  • “I need a moment.”

  • “Let me think about that.”

  • “I’m not ready to respond yet.”

TOOLS FOR CHOOSING A RESPONSE

You don’t have to say everything you feel.
You don’t have to decide everything right now.

Section 5

REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES

Feeling angry → choosing to walk away instead of yelling

Feeling embarrassed → choosing silence instead of lashing out

Feeling overwhelmed → choosing to ask for help

Feeling hurt → choosing to pause instead of attacking back

The feeling is real.
The response is chosen.

Section 6

WHAT CHOOSING WISELY IS NOT

Choosing your response does not mean:

  • Ignoring your feelings

  • Letting others mistreat you

  • Suppressing what matters

  • Always staying quiet

Wisdom includes boundaries.
Wisdom includes speaking — at the right time.

Section 7

GENTLE REMINDER

When emotions rise:
1️⃣ Pause
2️⃣ Breathe
3️⃣ Ask: “What response serves me best right now?”
4️⃣ Choose with care

This is a skill.
Skills grow with practice.

“The wise are cautious and avoid danger, but fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence.” — Proverbs 14:16

Wisdom helps us slow down.
God invites us to choose with care.

LET’S CHECK IN

🌱 Well done.
Responding with wisdom is a strength.

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19

When you’re ready, continue to the next lesson.

Section 8